Self-love: Aren’t you forgetting something?

This blog post is part of the Week of Self-Love hosted by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt of

Throughout the past few years, as I’ve gotten more and more acquainted with my intuition, I’ve grown to love my heart and hate my mind.

9-25-13 Self-loveEvery time I write an article and my heart is singing the words to me, my mind eventually interferes. When I re-read the draft later, I can always tell where the mind started talking and the heart stopped.

Every time I meditate, or sit watching a sunset in awe of its beauty, just when I reach that peak of intensity, my mind jumps right in with some trivial thought.

It’s like a demanding, spoiled little brat. One that constantly pulls on your sleeve asking for attention or throws rotten tomatoes at you as you’re lounging on the beach.

I’m also very introspective. Which means I investigate and observe everything my mind does. And, the more I do it, the more I grow to dislike the ego and its manifestation through my mind. Mindless actions, poor decisions, bad habits… you name it.

And for a very long time I kept thinking of my mind just like that – like a dangerous temptation, a pesky annoyance. Something I was constantly trying to control, to shut down, to turn down.

Until one fateful day.

I was doing a guided meditation on opening the heart, and just as I was at the peak of experience, my mind suddenly jumps in and disrupts my whole mojo.


Silly mind, who do you think you are to take me away from practicing self-love? Go away. Shoo! Let me love myself already!

Then the voice in the guided meditation said something I had never thought of before: “Connect your heart to your mind. Give your mind love.”


So you mean this entire time my mind has been acting up like a spoiled child because I have been neglecting it, pushing it away, and criticizing it constantly?

No way! (cue sarcasm)

Isn’t it funny how common sense can sometimes hit you like a ton of bricks?

Somehow, in all of this time of “self-love”, it had never occurred to me to love this huge part of myself: my mind.

Your mind is just like a child. It’s a vibrant, brimming child full of ideas. And your heart is its mother. As long as mama is busy punishing the child, blaming it and criticizing it, the child will be spoiled and poorly behaved. It will bounce off the walls, interrupt at inopportune times, and laugh at you when you demand respect.

But what happens when you start offering it the love and care it needs? As I’ve discovered, it turns into a beautiful flower.

When you embrace your mind with love, you create an incredibly strong connection between your heart and your mind. All of a sudden, they are no longer separate – they become one. And the intuition that previously penetrated only your heart begins to fill your mind with the same light and wonder.

As you learn to love your mind, what you previously could only feel begins to translate into a much deeper understanding. Because it’s no longer just your heart that is connected to your higher self, but also your mind. And together, they form a cohesive powerhouse that can take you very, very far.

Do you tell yourself that you are stupid?

Do you blame your mind for succumbing to the greedy ego?

Do you argue with it, punish it, and try to shut it down?

Stop. Stop right now.

It’s not going against you. It’s like a scared child. It doesn’t know what your heart knows. And that’s because it can’t.

Your mind is your mind. Your heart is your heart. When separate, they will go their own way. Once you unite them, they complete you.

Instead of punishing your mind, send it love. Visualize a stream of light filling your heart, and the love pouring into your mind. See the connection between your heart and mind become unbreakably strong. I like to imagine my brain and my heart giving each other one big hug.

Doing this fills my soul to the brim with love, understanding and gratitude. It gives me energy and reconnects me with my inner wisdom. It feels right.

It feels right to love yourself, but have you forgotten to love the most important part of yourself?

When you connect your heart with your mind, your peacefulness and understanding become unstoppable.

Want to see some real results in your life? Start loving yourself. And don’t stop until your mind becomes one with your heart.

Be fearless.
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  1. Hi Laura
    I have heard Indian gurus describe the mind as ‘a monkey who has been bitten by a scorpion’. It is very difficult to control the mind. What a great tip. Love your mind and connect your heart and mind.
    I will definitely use this when I am doing my mediations.
    Thank you.
    Love, hugs and butterflies(??).

    • Raj, I had never heard of that but it makes perfect sense! Please do let me know how it works for you.

      The butterflies thing is just one of my quirks. I use weird words in weird situations (I frequently say it smells like roses and butterflies, for instance!)

      In the mailing list I thought, if it were to give someone a smile on their face, it did its job :)

      Raj, thank you for commenting every single week – you have no idea how much this means to me!

  2. I used to be just like you: at war with my mind. And while I’m not quite at a place where I can embrace all of my thoughts just yet, I am taking baby steps in the right direction. Yes, connecting your heart and your mind is a way of living fully and being whole. You can’t separate them if you want to embrace your entire being and live with peace of mind. I love that you wrote that your mind is not against you as this is a message I hear way too often. Your mind only wants the best for you IF you give it some TLC. Really great post!

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