Take charge of your life: what’s your excuse?

Excuses, excuses… those pesky buggers.

I make them every day.

They successfully help me avoid cleaning up, put off cooking healthy foods that take time, and daring to step up my game in my business.

I’m not the only one, either: most of the people I talk to on a daily basis are constantly making excuses for why they can’t have the life they really want to have.

But there’s something very important I have to tell you about that: You can’t afford NOT to live a life you love. [Read more...]

Transform your life without setting goals

A couple of weeks ago I told you why I think setting goals is a bad idea.

That hasn’t changed. I still think that goals set you up for failure more than success.

1. Goals keep you focused on the destination, instead of allowing you to focus on the journey. Whether your goal is to run a successful business, get in shape, or have a better relationship, what you want to focus on is this present moment – not the future. Lofty goals will leave you discouraged, while too-small ones will leave you not motivated enough. Relying on artificial ideas of what you think the destination will look like is the poorest form of motivation I’ve ever heard of.

2. Goals are completely artificial and are usually created by the ego, which means two things: one, you’re setting a destination for yourself without knowing that it’s the right one (you can probably tell the direction is right, but not necessarily the destination).

3. You’re allowing the ego to take charge by setting up a new construct that it can compare you to (and create lots of shame and guilt around not having reached it, having over-reached it and therefore not aimed far enough, or having landed someplace else altogether – even if you’re actually better off than you would have been had you reached the goal in the first place). Fun fun fun.

4. You’re pushing forward with the destination in sight (and only the destination in sight) without considering where you’re coming from and whether or not your beliefs about yourself and the world actually allow that kind of transformation to take place.

That will bring you tons of challenges and resistance that you don’t have the tools to deal with, so you chalk it up to “need more willpower” or “poor time management” and throw your money at yet another course that gives you a boatload of gimmicks and tricks that cover up the issue like a band-aid but don’t actually do anything about the real underlying problem. (Ask me why I don’t believe in time management issues… another video for a future Monday!)

Since year-end has left me seeing everyone boast about their goals (and the inner me screaming NOOOOOOOO) I’ve put together the framework I’ve used to create some huge changes in my life from the inside out. From the bottom up. From top to bottom.

You get the point.

Since it’s kind of complex to explain all in one video, I take you through a portion of it in today’s Shine your Light Monday vlog, and have prepared the rest for a FREE workshop/webinar you can participate in on Tuesday, January 7th, 2014. It will take place at 7 pm EST/4 pm PST, and you can sign up for it here.

Of course, I will have a recording for you after it’s over. But there’s nothing like being there in person, so show up!

Without further ado… here’s your quick lesson in un-goal setting! [Read more...]

The secret to love, friendship, and success

People act selfishly.

It’s a big lesson and one that can bring you a lot of freedom when you finally understand it.

What you think people do TO you is probably not their intention at all. They’re just going after what feels good and avoiding what doesn’t, or what brings them fear and pain.

The secret to love, friendship, and success is  [Read more...]

Why setting goals is BAD for you and your business

It’s mid December…

…which means everyone is knee-deep in their goals and resolutions for 2014.

I’ve been thinking about it myself. 2013 felt… heavy for me. Tough. Like walking through a swamp. I made a lot of progress in some areas (my marriage, my understanding of myself and the world, mindfulness and spirituality, Link to Yourself), and too little progress in other areas (by whose frickin’ standards?)

2014 feels rich with possibility. Beaming with opportunities and new beginnings. A brand new year at my feet, ready for me to make the best out of every minute of it.

So, I sat down, as I usually do, to do my goals for the year…

…and realized that it no longer works for me.

Looking back over my previous years, I realized that goals have only kept me from going in the direction I really needed to go, and have actually prevented from being successful. (Say what?!?!) [Read more...]

Want more money? Thank your Christmas tree.

This weekend, we put up our Christmas tree.

Since then, I hugged it and thanked it every day.

I thanked it for giving its life to light up my house and my life.

I thanked it for being so full and beautiful.

I thanked it for having strong branches that keep all of our silly ornaments without dropping them.

I thanked it for sparkling so beautifully under the weight of the lights and decorations – just for us.

I thanked it because, by its nature, it was selfless. Maybe not by choice, but the end result was the same – it fills my heart with joy every day as I work right next to it and get to take little peeks and long glances at it, daydreaming of flurries and battles in the snow.

My Christmas tree isn’t the only thing that gets thanks.

[Read more...]

Why you’re stuck and nothing is working

So you’ve made up your mind to eliminate a bad habit. Or build a good one. To change something about your life. Make it better.

You want to lose weight and feel good in your skin again.

You want to get organized and stop procrastinating.

You want to make your business more successful.

You want to wake up early and be productive.

You want to cultivate the habit of mindfulness and become more zen.

You’ve gone out, done your research, and immersed yourself in books, websites, and “friendly advice”. You’ve tried a dozen different diets, snoozed a million times, taken more business courses than your wallet can afford, and only become more frustrated in the process.

No matter what you try, nothing seems to change. You’re stuck, and you’re ready to throw yourself on the floor and stomp and cry like a toddler because nothing. is. working, dammit!

I’ve been there. [Read more...]

5 essential things you need to learn in your 20s

This is a two-part series. To read the first part, click here.

Last week I wrote a post about what to stop doing in your 20s: waste time and pretend these years “don’t really count”.

Here’s the truth: everything counts. Every single second of every day counts. What counts most is the present moment. NOW.

It doesn’t matter what plans you’ve made for the future, or what happened to you in the past. Sure, you can prepare yourself for a better future, and you can learn from the lessons of the past. But the most important thing in this journey called life is to enjoy every single step of it. Basically, you need to make the most out of your now, every day of your life.

Now that you know what not to do in your 20s (throw them out the window), let’s talk about what you must do in your 20s. More specifically, let’s talk about what you really need to learn during this fateful decade. The sooner you learn these things, the better your life will be, and the more you’ll be able to make the most out of everything you’ve got.

Ready? Click on the video below to learn the 5 essential things you simply must learn in your 20s (and remember, the sooner, the better!)

 

 

Before you leave, I want to hear from you!

What is the most important lessons you have learned in your 20s or that you think young people should learn in their 20s?

For the fellow gen Y-ers out there: What are you going to make your “theme” this decade? What lesson are you going to absolutely make sure you learn?

This is a two-part series. To read the first part, click here.